Thinking of you today

I woke up with you and Whitney heavy on my heart.  I pray for you guys all the time and I wish you would want to get in contact again.  I tried to do some searching on the internet but it looks like you still don't want to be found.  I wonder if you changed your name? I don't think so though since they were able to contact you about Dad this spring.

Love you, brother!!!

Feb 27

Dear Randy; I can't believe another year has gone by that I haven't seen you. I wonder if you've searched the internet to find what has been going on in our lives, or if you are just content with knowing nothing about your family. I have been searching and periodically check on facebook to see if you or Whitney come up in searches. I really miss you and the only feeling I have left in me is hurt. I physically ache when I realize you have never met your nephew that resembles you so much when you were little! And your niece that is super squishy and sweet! I have often wondered if I should write a letter and get our pastor to find your address or even send it to your in-laws. From the way things were left I have a feeling a letter would just be tossed in the trash. I just want you to know how much I love you. I want to know how your life is and share joy with the things that make you happy and be there for you when you're sad. Every Lent I have purposed to fast and pray for reconcilliation. This year is no different. I really don't know how or what to pray. I have no idea if you will ever see this blog and I will never share the address with the world so hopefully it will just be a diary of sorts. I pray that healing will come soon. I pray that contact will be initiated on your end so that we can recieve you with love and open arms. There are walls of hurt that must be broken down through God's love. I love you and I love Whitney. Your seperation has hurt me but I will never stop loving you!